Boasting & Affection

I. Introduction
A. We have come to the end of this section of 2Corinthians (5-7), where Paul has been speaking very personally to the Corinthians about his relationship with them.
1. I have very much enjoyed our time studying Paul words about his relationship with the Corinthians. By example, Paul teaches much here about how to love Christ’s people.
2. We will not get back to Paul’s discussions about his relationship with the Corinthians till the end of chapter 12, and by then we will have mostly forgotten about 5-7.
3. BTW, while this stuff is on your mind, before we move on and forget what we’ve been talking about, I urge you to go and read the second half of chapter 12 (beginning in v.14) and all of chapter 13, which is a continuation of this theme.
4. But 8-9 are very different. And then 10-12 are very different.
B. 2Corinthians 7:13b–16 And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. 14 For whatever boasts I made to him about you, I was not put to shame. But just as everything we said to you was true, so also our boasting before Titus has proved true. 15 And his affection for you is even greater, as he remembers the obedience of you all, how you received him with fear and trembling. 16 I rejoice, because I have complete confidence in you.
II. In these final verses we observe four more aspects of love.
A. Love means rejoicing in the joy of others (7:13b).
1. Paul not only loved the Corinthians, he also dearly loved his co-worker Titus. Now in 7:13 he rejoices in the joyous refreshment of Titus over the response of the Corinthians to his severe letter: “And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all.”
2. We haven’t spoken much about Titus. It seems that while he stayed to minister in Asia Minor, primarily in Ephesus, Paul had sent Titus to minister to the church in Corinth. When problems arose in Corinth, Titus came back to tell Paul about the trouble. Then they traveled together to Corinth to address the issues, but then departed because of the very unpleasant reception they received.
a. That’s when Paul penned his severe letter and sent Titus back to Corinth to deliver it.
b. Understandably Titus had serious misgivings about going to Corinth on behalf of Paul. He was going back into a hostile situation carrying a letter written to confront them about their hostility.
c. V.14 makes it clear that Paul had spent time encouraging him and expressing optimism about how the Corinthians would respond.
3. So how does this verse show Paul’s love? It shows that he cared about how others were feeling. He didn’t like sending Titus into such a difficult situation. Now he is rejoicing that Titus’ fears were relieved by receiving such a warm reception from the Corinthian believers.
4. Paul was a man who rejoiced when others were rejoicing (being obedient to his own instructions in Rom.12:15a). He wanted others to do well, to succeed, to thrive, to be refreshed. And that’s love. Our pride makes us desire that we’ll do well and others will flounder. Love longs for and works for and rejoices in the prosperity of others.
5. This is the way Christ was – He laid down His life to benefit us. This is the way Paul was.
a. And this is the way God wants to empower us to be.
b. He doesn’t want us to envy others, but rejoice for them and with them when they are blessed.
B. Love means praising righteous deeds (7:13-16).
1. Paul is not embarrassed about giving a needed rebuke. Of course, there are plenty of folks who are willing to rebuke. And there are many who find it natural to affirm. That has a lot to do with personality. What is so rare is finding a person who can rebuke in love but also heaps on the praise when it is fitting. THAT is the way the love of Christ is.
2. Paul’s words here are laced with praise of both Titus and the Corinthians. Paul is praising the Corinthians for their appropriately humble response to his strong rebuke contained in his severe letter. We see this also in v.4, 7, & 11.
3. And it’s not as if the Corinthians had done the greatest thing in the world. They had simply received his correction, realized they were wrong, and repented of it. And yet Paul lays the praise on thick – not because of the surpassing greatness of their deed, but because of the surpassing greatness of his love for them.
4. Was he making a big deal out of a small thing? Or was he simply doing on earth what was being done in heaven. Remember what Luke 15:7 says about the joy in heaven when one sinner repents.
5. When we truly love someone, we rejoice with them when they do well, and we are eager to praise them. Love moves us to look for ways to praise and things to praise for.
6. Early in our marriage I told a friend that my wife felt that I didn’t affirm her enough. And here was my excuse: “I don’t want to be dishonest and just make up things to affirm her about.” His response cut me to the quick. He said, “Your problem is not in being dishonest; your problem is in not noticing all the things your wife deserves to be affirmed for.”
7. It is so easy to notice and point out someone else’s sin, but be bad both at noticing and at giving praise for someone else’s righteous deed.
8. When we are quicker to notice failures than successes, it is because we lack love — which means we need Jesus, both to forgive us and to fill us with His love.
9. We can’t just be rebukers of sin, we must also be praisers of righteousness.
a. When someone pulls through and does the righteous thing when it wasn’t easy to do so, we ought to lavish praise and encouragement upon them, even if all they did was repent of sin.
10. That’s what Paul is doing here.
C. Love means having confidence in others (7:14).
1. Before Titus left for Corinth with the severe letter, Paul assured his friend by expressing confidence that the Corinthians would respond well to his written rebukes.
2. His boasting proved well-founded. The Corinthians were convicted of their sin toward Paul and repented. Understandably this was a great encouragement (& relief) to Titus.
3. 7:14 For whatever boasts I (Paul) made to him (Titus) about you (Corinthians), I was not put to shame. But just as everything we said to you was true, so also our boasting before Titus has proved true...16 I rejoice, because I have complete confidence in you.
4. Now Paul takes the opportunity to use this response to encourage the Corinthians. And by doing so he teaches us much about the love of Christ.
5. In light of his disastrous last visit, it would have been natural for Paul to expect another negative reception for Titus. But instead he chose a loving attitude and expectation – based on the good parts of their history and not the bad. (In the end, his confidence was not in the Corinthians, of course, but in the God who had called them and whose Spirit was active in them.)
6. One episode of sin – even a dramatic one – should not ruin our view of another person, or our hope in another person.
7. Paul eagerly wanted to trust the Corinthians and was relieved to find out by their response that they were worthy of this trust.
8. Part of love is trusting: "Love...believes all things." (1Cor.13:7)
a. This doesn’t mean, of course, that love means trusting blindly and foolishly. It means trusting as much as good reason will allow you to trust. It means thinking as highly about another person as the circumstances will allow you to think, taking the best possible interpretation of the facts.
b. Or, most to the point, it means profoundly and sincerely wanting and trying to trust the other person, hoping earnestly that they prove worthy of that trust. This is part of Biblical love.
9. We usually think of trust as earned. I don’t think that’s right. I don’t think we’re just supposed to be objective about trusting others. I think when we love someone, we want to trust them, we want to believe in them, and so we don’t just wait & see, we work to trust them & believe in them.
D. Love means expressing confidence as you confront. This is perhaps the most important of all.
1. It may seem strange to our ears to see Paul boasting about the Corinthians to Titus even while asking Titus to take a letter to those same Corinthians chastising them for their sin. But this tells us a little bit about the way Paul operated – and about the Savior Paul served.
2. Most folks don’t talk severe unless they are (sinfully) angry. They may at times see sin or injustice and think severe thoughts, but those thoughts usually only get communicated when their inhibitions are overcome by their anger.
3. Not so with Paul. Paul was able to be lovingly severe. He was able to speak to God’s people very directly and strongly – and yet never out of disgust. How did he do so? What was his secret? By his words and manner Paul expressed confidence in the people he was rebuking – confidence that they would hear and take to heart what he was saying. This means he did not belittle but communicated to his listeners that he believed in them and was confident that the One who was at work within them would empower them to overcome their struggle.
4. We see here the importance of having confidence in people when we confront them. This kind of confidence shows love – and goes a long way to helping the other person listen to what we have to say, because they know we think highly of them.
a. People tend to live up to the expectations we have of them. They tend to live up to the confidence we have in them, and they tend to live down to the negative expectations we have of them.
III. Conclusion
A. Love means rejoicing in the joy of others. Love means praising righteous acts. Love means having confidence in others. Love means expressing confidence as you confront.
1. Who among us can’t see ways in which Paul’s example challenges our own patterns of living?
2. I certainly can. As I preach through this section, each week I see ways I have failed in loving: as a pastor, as a husband, as a father.
3. And I’m sure it’s true for you too. You see ways you have failed in loving the people around you.
4. For many of us, I think, the place where this applies most directly is in the context of the family: in marriage, in parenting, and even in speaking to our parents.
a. If we treat people with anger and disgust and humiliation, we will harm the very people we love.
b. If we sow kindness and confidence and joy in people, and even loving firmness when necessary, we will show them Jesus.
5. The amazing love of the apostle Paul was possible because Paul’s heart was filled with Christ’s love. This love moved him to long to see others fashioned into the image of Christ. And this love also moved him to communicate with Christ’s little ones in a gracious and uplifting way.
B. We have now spent 74 mornings studying the first seven chapters of this epistle, many of them focused on the struggle between Paul and the Corinthians church. In them we have seen clearly that Paul was a very relational apostle.
1. It is sad that these chapters are so neglected and underappreciated. They are the word of God just as much as all the other parts.
2. People might think that there’s not much theology here, but they are very wrong.
3. We see here that God is a relational God. He cares about our relationship with Him, and He cares about our relationships with one another.
4. God loves people, not just people in general but real, individual people. He knows their names; He knows what’s going on in their lives; He knows how they’re doing inside. And He knows how they interact with one another.
5. God cares about your relationships and my relationships. He cares about our communication with others. He cares about the words we speak to others and the condition of our heart as we speak them. He cares about the emails we send and the things we post on social media.
6. He cares about the way we speak to our spouses and our children and our parents and our siblings.
7. He cares about how we speak to our friends and our teachers and our fellow workers.
8. How many of you are sometimes self-conscious about speaking to others? Sometimes I am too.
a. But why are we thinking about what they think of us instead of what they think of God?
b. God wants us to do all our communicating and all our relating in His name and for His glory.
9. God obviously wants us to understand His teaching. But He also wants us to be relational. He wants us to love one another. And that doesn’t just mean being nice with people in church.
10. It means we have relationships. It means we invest in people. It means we welcome people into our lives. It means getting involved in people’s lives, and letting others be involved in our lives, to the glory of the God of love.