Christmas Guidance from the Bible: Time with Relatives

I. Introduction
A. This is the 4th of a 5 part series on Christmas guidance from the Bible. The final sermon — on gift-receiving — is this Wednesday evening at 7:30 at the Christmas Eve service.
1. And no one here is allowed to open any Christmas gifts until they’ve heard the sermon in gift-receiving, on account of the fact that they won’t know how.
B. In past weeks, we have found worship and gift-giving in the original Christmas story, though we found no instance of eating or drinking. But there is visitation of relatives in two places:
1. When Mary visited her relative Elizabeth after she found out she was going to bear the messiah
2. When family gathered at the home of Zacharias and Elizabeth on the occasion of John’s birth
II. Yesterday we went over to our daughter Rebekah’s house for the morning and I got to hang out with eight of my children, two of my children-in-law, and 4½ of my grandchildren. This week my mother and sister and niece are coming for a few days. And of course a number of our children and children-in-law and grandchildren.
A. And many of you will similarly be having time with relatives over the next week or so — maybe just your own nuclear family or maybe other family members as well.
B. I love spending time with family. I cherish these times. But it wasn’t always so. I remember as a kid being dragged places to be with relatives I didn’t want to be with and having people over I didn’t like. And I know that for some people spending time with relatives is not at all easy.
C. This sermon is targeted mainly at those who, for one reason or another, do not look forward to being with relatives, or who are fine with being with relatives as long as they don’t have to lift a finger to help carry the burden of hospitality.
III. There are no passages in the Bible explicitly about how to spend time with relatives, but there are lots of verses which apply to time with relatives. And Romans 12 is certainly one of the best.
A. Its application is far broader than time with relatives, but let’s look at it today in terms of what it has to say to us about spending time with relatives.
B. Read Romans 12:9–21.
IV. Explanation of Romans 12:9–21
A. 9 “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.”
1. Politeness is good, but not enough. God wants us not only to ACT loving, but for that love to be genuine. He asks for a love that is not only outward but which springs from a heart dedicated to what is good and repudiating what is evil.
2. 10a “Love one another with brotherly affection.”
a. The Greek word here is PHILADELPHIA, a combination of the word love and the word brother.
b. Literally this says, “Love one another with brotherly love.”
c. It is a word which comes from our bond with relatives.
d. The Bible recognizes something special about a brother (or sister).
(1) Ordinarily it is the longest relationship a person has.
(2) It is used in 1Thes.5:14 to exhort people to be loving and not vindictive toward those who are excluded from the church, “Do not treat him as an enemy but admonish him as a brother.”
(3) It is used in Prov. 18:24 to express how amazingly close a friend can be: “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
(4) It is used to describe the relationship we have with one another in Christ.
e. This is the kind of love Romans 12:10 calls us to have to those God brings into our lives.
B. 10b “Outdo one another in showing honor.”
1. Giving gifts and preparing meals are part of the bigger enterprise of showing honor.
2. But there are also many other ways to show honor: serving others, saying something nice to others, clearing the table, doing the dishes, taking an interest in how others are doing.
3. Don’t let the honor be only in one direction. Make sure you’re giving honor back.
4. Don’t be a taker and allow everyone else to be the givers.
5. It’s so easy to just take and take and take, especially at Christmas, as if it’s everyone else’s job to make us happy.
6. Verse 11 tells us, “Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.” Literally, this means “Regarding diligence, don’t hesitate! With a spirit of zeal, serve the Lord.”
7. There is a temptation to be lazy and let everyone else do the work.
8. There’s nothing wrong with taking a rest. But at Christmas time, even though you may be off school or off work, there’s a lot of work that needs to be done. Don’t let everyone else do it all.
9. Do not lag, do not sit back, do not let the couch be your constant companion.
10. Get up! Get going! Do something for someone! Give a little help! Take advantage of every opportunity. Don’t wait to be asked. Don’t wait to be required to help.
C. 12 “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”
1. Things aren’t all going to happen the way you’d like them to.
2. Don’t expect to get your happiness from how things go.
3. You need an anchor to keep you stable in the storms.
4. You need Jesus to walk with you through each day.
D. 13a “Contribute to the needs of the saints”
1. Those who are alone
2. Those who are without
3. Those who are grieving
4. Those who are working hard and need a rest, or need appreciation or encouragement
5. It’s easy to think that adults are different than kids, but they’re not. They’re just older. Adults need encouragement too.
E. 13b “seek to show hospitality”
1. The word translated “hospitality” is a combination of the Greek words, PHILO (meaning love) and XENOS (meaning stranger). It refers to the love of strangers.
2. The verse doesn’t just say to love strangers, but to SEEK to do so. The Greek word for seek or strive is DIOKO. It means to pursue something, to run towards it, to hunt for it, to go after it. It’s the same word as is used in Philippians 3:12 “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.”
3. We are to strive to be a lover of strangers.
4. Why does it say strive? There’s a cost to hospitality. It’s not something that just happens. It’s not something you stumble into. It takes effort. It takes initiative. It takes dedication.
5. This doesn’t just pertain to the adults who invite people over to their homes. It pertains to everyone else in the family, and it asks us to open our hearts to others as we welcome them into our homes.
F. 16b “Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.”
1. Here God calls us to take an interest in the little people, in the people who aren’t so cool, in those who are alone, in old people. (You know, old people don’t choose to be old. It just happens.)
2. Think about Jesus — He didn’t refuse people on the basis of outward things.
a. In John 9:1-41 He took an interest in a blind man everyone else ignored.
b. In Luke 19:1-10 He reaches out to Zacchaeus, who was despised as a tax collector.
c. Mark 10:13-16 He insists on spending time with little children others thought we not important enough to warrant His time.
3. Romans 12:15 instructs us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”
a. In order to do this, we must be willing to talk to people, willing to listen to them, willing to probe and take an interest in what’s happening in their lives. Listen to their joys and to their griefs.
4. 16c continues this thought: “Never be wise in your own sight.”
a. There’s a great temptation to think we are better than or somehow above other people, to look down on others because of their looks, or their intelligence, or their age, or their personality.
b. Don’t think you’re better than that cousin or uncle or sister or brother. They’re all God’s creatures, made in His image. And they’re all sinners in need of Christ, just like you.
G. 17b “Give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.”
1. Literally this says: Pay attention to what is good in the sight of all men.
2. There are plenty of things which people commonly disagree about: matters of politics, for instance. But this passage tells us to focus on things which all men agree are good, I think in the same spirit of what Jesus said in Matthew 5:16 “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”
H. 16a “Live in harmony with one another.”
1. And then v.18: “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
2. Don’t start fights. Be like Jesus, be a peacemaker.
3. And don’t do stuff to irritate people.
I. 14 “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.”
1. Some of us will be mistreated at some point during this Christmas break. It may be teasing, it may be insults, it may be unreasonable demands. Some of you have already been mistreated by those you’ll be seeing.
2. However it happens that we are mistreated, the Bible tells us how to respond: “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.” And then in v.17 “Repay no one evil for evil.”
3. And then again in v.19: Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
4. 21 “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
V. In conclusion, let’s look at all this from a few other angles.
A. For many of us, people will come knocking on our door wanting to come in and eat with us and spend time with us. And we’ve been talking about welcoming them, etc. But for ALL of us, there’s Someone else knocking at our door, Someone who wants to come in and eat with us. Revelation 3:20 tells us that it is Jesus: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”
1. This is the One most important to welcome, most important to receive, most important to love.
B. Matthew 25:40, 45 – “As you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me...and as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.”
1. Don’t be under the false impression that you’re safe if you welcome Jesus even if you spurn others.
2. If you spurn others, you spurn Jesus. If you welcome others, you are welcoming Jesus.
C. Why is it so important to welcome and love others? Romans 15:7 answers the question: “Welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.”
1. We welcome others because Christ has welcomed us!
2. We didn’t deserve to be welcomed. We deserved to be rejected. But Christ has come and He has opened wide the doors of God’s house and welcomed us in.
3. Forty-four years ago I was welcomed into God’s house for the first time. I had always felt like an outsider, but suddenly I was in the context of people who acted like they really wanted me to be a part of them.
4. I hope you have felt welcomed here in this church. And I hope you are part of the welcome others receive who walk through these doors. I hope you fling the doors of your life and heart wide-open to receive others. That’s what Christ has done to you. That’s what He calls you to do in His name, & for His glory.