Join for our live streamed Sunday School (9:30am) and Worship Service (10:30am). You can view them HERE.

Playing Back-up

Mothers Day

May 10, 2020


by: Jack Lash Series: Mothers Day | Category: Parenting | Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:5, 2 Timothy 3:14–15

I. Introduction
A. We finished Jonah two weeks ago. We are about to begin a new series on Great Sins of the OT.
1. But first we have a three week window
2. Last week we had Dan Iverson, this week we have MD, next week we have our 40th anniversary.
B. To begin, I’d like to wish all of our mothers a very happy Mothers Day. Obviously, I can’t pass out a chocolate-covered strawberry today as a token of my admiration and appreciation. But let me express my enormous gratitude for the way you serve the Lord in the context of your family. Thank you for your willingness to bear the burden of your children – and your husband – in so many ways.
1. I realize that your children are largely blind to your labors of love on their behalf.
2. And I realize that some of your husbands may be largely blind as well.
3. But one thing I can guarantee you: God is not blind to your labors of love.
4. “For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving, as you continue to do.” – Hebrews 6:10
C. This is a Mothers Day sermon, but it’s not so much about mothering as it is about parenting, though of course it relates to many other aspects of life as well.
D. True Christians are people who have been gripped by the gospel.
1. And the gospel becomes the center of our lives.
2. The gospel even becomes the center of our parenting.
3. Parenting involves MANY different responsibilities: feeding, protecting, instructing, being a good example, loving/cherishing, affirming, rebuking, disciplining, training in activities from using the toilet to doing one’s taxes, and many others.
4. But the most crucial part of parenting is raising our children in the gospel.
5. We do this by teaching them the truths and promises of God’s word. And we do this by living lives which reflect the goodness and love of Christ.
6. And one person who was raised that way was Paul’s young friend and associate, Timothy.
E. 2Timothy 1:5 I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.
F. 2Timothy 3:14–15 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it 15 and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
II. Timothy’s mother playing back-up
A. 2Tim.3:15 tells us that “from childhood [Timothy had] been acquainted with the Scriptures.” How did Timothy become acquainted with the Scriptures as a child?
1. It seems to have been through his mother, and perhaps his grandmother as well.
2. 2Timothy 1:5 “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.”
B. Now, Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
1. Two verses earlier Paul tells the children to honor their father AND THEIR MOTHER.
2. But here, he doesn’t say, “Fathers AND MOTHERS, bring your children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” He just says, Fathers. Why?
3. Because he wants the fathers to feel the weight of their responsibility to train up their children in the Lord.
C. Then why did Timothy’s mother do the job? Didn’t she know that was her husband’s job?
1. Well, we learn in Acts 16:1 that Timothy was “the son of a Jewish woman who was a believer, but his father was a Greek.”
2. So, it is likely that Timothy’s mother had married an unbeliever.
3. In the absence of a godly husband, Timothy’s mother stepped up and did the job. And Paul commends her for it.
4. Though Ephesians 6:4 urges dads to accept their spiritual role in their children’s lives, it doesn’t take away anything from the mom’s role.
5. Though Paul’s command is directed to fathers, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if more mothers than fathers work hard to bring their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. And thank God for all the mothers who do so, in spite of their husbands absence or failure.
III. This introduces the concept of playing back-up.
A. We all understand the concept of stepping up to do something when someone else is unable to do it.
B. For all of us, there is a duty to play back-up to each other. Part of the command to bear one another’s burdens (Gal.6:2) is to fill in for one another when we can’t fulfill our responsibilities.
1. When we were at the hospital having a baby, others took care of our other children for us.
2. When a SS teacher or nursery worker or kitchen helper has to miss a Sunday, someone else fills in for them.
3. When someone has a baby or is hospitalized, we try to step in and provide meals for them.
IV. The concept of playing back-up is especially important in marriage and parenting.
A. By creating marriage and making it necessary for a man and a woman to be involved in bringing a child into the world, the Lord has shown us that generally, children are to be raised by two parents.
1. The principle of Eccl.4:9-12 is true in parenting: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
2. Notice that one reason it is so advantageous to have two rather than one here is because of the principle of backing-up. When one falls, the other can step in and lift the first one up.
B. Now sometimes, because of abandonment or death, one parent is left to raise children alone.
1. And I don’t know how they do it. But God gives them help.
2. And we need to pray for them and help them in whatever way we can.
C. But generally parenting requires both parents to be fully engaged.
D. Of course, specialization is appropriate and advantageous.
1. One person might be more naturally suited to doing one job than the other person.
a. The body model (1Cor.14) has some application to the family
2. One person might have more free time than another.
3. One person might be more available when something needs to be done than the other.
E. And there are advantages to spelling out who is responsible for what. But things change, cars break down, people get sick, work demands intervene, and you have to adapt.
1. Sometimes we need to stand in the gap in place of our spouse. By and large, the dad needs to be the back-up for the mom and the mom needs to be the back-up for the dad.
F. Sometimes you stand in the gap even to compensate for your spouse’s failures.
1. If Mom announces, “I’m not cooking dinner tonight!” it doesn’t really matter whether she has good reason to say that or not, somebody needs to step and provide the little ones with some food.
2. This is what Timothy’s mom did. She filled in for an unbelieving husband.
3. This is what Abigail did – in 1Sam.25:18-22, 26-27.
G. Proverbs 31:12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
1. We see here the beautiful spirit of teamwork. This heroic woman isn’t about self-satisfaction and self-actualization. She was all about working with her husband to honor the Lord and raise up her children for His glory. She and her husband are on the same team!
2. She does him good and not harm. He does her good and not harm.
V. This spirit of cooperation and mutual support is present in many ‘love one another’ commands.
A. It is common for Christians to focus on the Bible’s marriage commands when thinking about how a husband and wife ought to be relating.
B. But the fact is that the Bible’s marriage commands are added to the Bible’s general commands of how to treat other human beings, and they’re also added to the Bible’s commands of how to treat other believers in Christ.
C. E.g. Washing one another’s feet – John 13:14-15
1. Encouraging each other every day – Heb.3:13
2. Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger – James 1:19
3. Never pay back insult for insult – 1Pet.3:9
4. Overcome evil with good – Rom.12:21
5. Outdo one another in showing honor – Rom.12:10
6. Bear one another’s burdens – Gal.6:2
7. “If someone sins, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.” – Matthew 18:15
8. Colossians 3:12–15 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
D. These are very much marriage verses as well.
1. Before you are husband and wife, you are two human beings made in the image of God.
2. And then you are brother and sister in Christ.
VI. The problem is, we are fallen human beings. We’re lazy and proud and selfish.
A. On a team, the idea is that each person is doing his/her best to help the team succeed. The competition is out there — and you’re working together to compete.
1. But the fact is, human nature doesn’t always lead us to work with our teammates. Human nature often leads us to compete with our teammates: to compete for glory, for rewards, for credit, for power, for control, etc.
2. Many fragile egos in sports. Every once in a while: “He’s willing to do anything to help his team.”
3. And sadly that’s the way it sometimes works in marriage and parenting as well.
4. We should be working together as a team toward the same goal. But instead, we are playing tug-of-war with each other. We’re insisting on doing things our way. Or we are trying to prove that we are right and the other person is wrong.
5. When we should be celebrating each other in marriage, we are denigrating each other instead.
6. Competitive spirits are destructive in every setting of human relationships. We need teamwork.
B. But pride leads to an unwillingness to serve.
1. “I’m above that job” whether it’s diapers, vomit, clogged toilets, or whatever.
2. Are these things below you? They weren’t below our Lord. He washed the disciples’ feet.
3. He is above them, yet He stoops down to serve them. And then He tells us to follow His example: “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.” — John 13:14-15
C. It is easy to take advantage of the other person: to let them do the dirty work, to let them do the lion’s share.
1. It is easy to misuse my power — to get what I want.
2. It is easy to be more concerned about being taken advantage of than taking advantage of others.
3. It is easy to be more concerned about our spouses filling their roles than us filling our roles?
4. It is easy to be more concerned about getting help than being a helper.
5. It is easy to be more afraid of doing more than my fair share than having my spouse do more than his/her fair share.
D. There is a great need for marital compassion. It is usually a thankless job.
1. Most of us work hard at parenting and get little appreciation.
2. It’s easy to feel deprived of deserved compassion and appreciation.
3. And it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for ourselves.
4. It’s easy to have more compassion on ourselves than on our spouse.
5. It is easy to be more concerned about receiving my spouse’s compassion than giving your spouse compassion.
6. And so you often have two people who feel sorry for themselves but not for each other.
E. This can turn into a toxic situation.
1. It’s hard to be compassionate toward someone you don’t feel is compassionate toward you.
2. It’s hard to be compassionate toward someone who is feeling sorry for themselves.
3. It’s hard to be compassionate on someone who is taking advantage of you.
4. So, you have a situation where both people are hard-hearted toward the other.
5. It is hard to respect someone who don’t seem to respect you.
6. And it is easy, when we give input to our spouse, to be motivated by anger or pride, rather than love and a desire to help them succeed.
F. The bottom line is that we sometimes have the wrong goal.
1. Our goal, though we don’t realize this, if more about our own pride than about Christ’s kingdom or even the success of our marriage or children.
2. It is easy for my parenting to be all about me instead of all about Christ.
3. It is easy to be more concerned about getting credit or avoiding blame that in our family prospering in the Lord.
VII. Conclusion
A. For many, family is where the great test of life is.
B. And, in my opinion, the most important ingredient in marriage and parenting – and sadly the one most lacking in many cases – is humility.
1. Humility doesn’t try to justify oneself. It doesn’t try to assign blame on the other.
2. But there is a tremendous disadvantage to humility: you have to take responsibility for your own unhappiness, instead of blaming it on someone else.
3. That’s the great advantage of bitterness: you don’t have to accept blame for your unhappiness!
C. In 1Peter 3:8, right after he wives and then husbands about marriage, Peter says, “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy for one another, mutual love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.”
D. If that doesn’t describe me, what should I do? I should begin by repenting.