Marriage and the Gospel

I. Introduction
A. Next month we’ll be looking at one of my very favorite stories in the Bible, and yet one which does not receive a lot of attention: the story of Sennacherib and his siege of Jerusalem.
B. This morning is the final of four sermons on marriage.
C. The gospel, of course, is the story of what Jesus did to rescue His people:
1. He came as a man, born of the virgin Mary.
2. He died on the cross for our sins, reconciling us to God.
3. He was raised from the dead in triumph on the third day.
4. He poured out His Spirit upon His people at Pentecost.
5. He promised to return on the last day and welcome us to our eternal home.
D. In Ephesians 5:22-33 Paul tells us that marriage reflects this good news, and that a husband and wife are called to live out this salvation story in their marriage relationship.
E. So this morning, let’s consider these five parts of the gospel story: incarnation, crucifixion, resurrection, Pentecost, and the second coming, in terms of their significance to marriage.
II. What benefits we can derive from these aspects of the gospel for our marriages?
A. Incarnation: refers to the fact that God the Son was born into human flesh 2000 years ago in Bethlehem, so that He is the messiah promised throughout the OT, and called Emmanuel, God with us: with us on this planet, with us in our humanity, with us in our weakness and temptation. So what does this mean to marriage?
1. It means that if you are a believer in Christ, you already have a messiah! You don’t need your spouse to be your messiah!
2. Shouldn’t two people who know they already have a messiah be able to have a better marriage than those who have no messiah and therefore bring messiah-sized expectations into the marriage?
3. If you have Christ, you already have someone who came into your world and took on your weakness and understands your situation, One who knows you through & through and yet loves you deeply. In Christ you already have the ideal Spouse. So when your spouse fails you in this regard, you have a compassionate and sympathetic savior into whose arms you can run.
4. Not only this, but we have Christ’s example of entering into another person’s world to inspire us to approach our spouse with understanding and sympathy and identification, even when they’re acting sinfully (1Pet.3:7).
B. Crucifixion refers to the fact that Jesus willingly allowed Himself to be falsely accused and then executed on a Roman cross, offering Himself as a substitute for His people, taking their deserved punishment in order that their guilt might be washed away. So what does this mean to marriage?
1. Because of Christ’s death on the cross, believers are forgiven. We’ve been released from condemnation. Every sin has been paid for.
a. Because of the crucifixion, we know that we are accepted by God (Romans 15:7). Therefore we are not dependent on a spouse for our acceptance or our validation or our identity.
2. Because of the cross our spouses are also forgiven. And this means we can forgive them, just as Christ forgave us (Ephesians 4:32).
a. In fact, Jesus Himself taught us that nothing done against us compares to what we’ve done against Him, and that therefore all offenses, hostility and bitterness from others can be viewed as small, in perspective.
3. Not only this, but we can see from the crucifixion of Christ that suffering can be redemptive, and that at times God calls His children to suffer for the sake of others.
a. See how Paul exemplifies this:
(1) 2Corinthians 12:15 “I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls.”
(2) Philippians 2:17 “Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all.”
b. As Christ willingly gave Himself for you and me, and as Paul willingly gave Himself for the Philippians and the Corinthians, may God help us to willingly give ourselves for our spouses, even enduring rejection for the cause of reconciliation.
4. Husbands especially, are called by Christ’s crucifixion to sacrifice themselves for their wives.
a. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Eph.5:25)
C. Resurrection refers to the fact that on the third day after He was dead and buried, Jesus was raised from the dead in victory — in a glorious transformed body — and vindicated by God. So what does this mean to marriage?
1. Because of the resurrection, we know that grace triumphs! Because of the resurrection, we have hope! Because of the resurrection, we know that God raises the dead!
2. The resurrection transforms the way we view troubles!
3. Look at 2Cor.1:8–10: “We do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.”
a. The resurrection didn’t take away Paul’s experience of dying (or, in this case, almost dying).
b. But it did take away Paul’s experience of hopelessness and despair and the finality of suffering.
4. (2Corinthians 4:8–9)
a. The resurrection didn’t take away Paul’s experience of being afflicted in every way, but it did take away his experience of being crushed.
b. The resurrection didn’t take away his experience of being perplexed, but it did take away his experience of despair.
c. The resurrection didn’t take away his experience of being persecuted, but it did take away his experience of being forsaken.
d. The resurrection didn’t take away his experience of being struck down, but it did take away his experience of being destroyed.
5. When you experience dark days in your marriage, when you feel like you’re dying, because of the resurrection you still know that God is the One who raises the dead.
D. Pentecost refers to the fact that fifty days after His crucifixion and ten days after ascending into heaven, Jesus poured out His Spirit upon His church according to the OT promise — and the promises He had repeatedly made to His disciples. So what does this mean to marriage?
1. Because of Pentecost, Christ dwells in us by his Holy Spirit.
2. Because of this, we can be confident that God is always with us and is always at work in our marriage, even when progress is imperceptible.
3. Because of Pentecost, we know that we have the Spirit of adoption crying out “Abba, Father!”.
a. Because of this, even when we’re rejected, we know He is with us and never forsakes us.
4. Because of Pentecost you and I have a Helper, who leads us and comforts us and draws us to Christ and gives us strength in our weakness and opens our eyes to His glorious grace.
5. Because of the Spirit, we can go to God in prayer. At any time we can take any need in our marriage to the One for whom nothing is impossible.
a. And even when we are so overwhelmed that we don’t know what to say to God, the Spirit helps us in our weakness, interceding for us with groanings too deep for words. (Romans 8:26)
6. Because of the Spirit’s work, believers have been born again (John 3:3-8). The old is passed away: we’ve become new creations (2Corinthians 5:17). Therefore, in our marriage, our past does not define us, or confine us, or determine our future.
7. Because of the Spirit’s work, we have the word of God in written form, to teach us & challenge us & correct us & train us how to live, including in the context of marriage. (2Timothy 3:16–17)
8. Because of the Spirit we have the power to obey God in our marriage, regardless of the circumstance or difficulty. We have the power to love even when we’re not loved. Christ is in us through the Spirit, so that it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. (Gal.2:20)
E. The second coming refers to the promise of Jesus that He will return again to earth both to judge those who have rebuffed Him and to marry His bride, His people, His church, and bring them to their eternal home, the new Jerusalem, the news heavens and the new earth. So what does this mean to marriage?
1. Because of Christ’s promised second coming, we know that there is a far more glorious marriage coming for us. A day is coming when we will be wed to the perfect spouse, One who is perfectly faithful and true, One who satisfies all of my needs, One who is absolutely dependable and will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), One whose love knows no end or limit.
2. On that day there will be the ultimate glorious wedding and a great wedding feast — and move into our true home, and truly live happily ever after.
3. Because of this, we can have reasonable expectations of our earthly marriages, and realize they weren’t designed to satisfy our soul’s longings, and realize they won’t last forever.
4. Because of the hope of the second coming, we can go forth in our marriages, not fixing our gaze on each other, but together fixing our gaze on Him and encouraging each other in this great hope.
III. Conclusion
A. Many people think that getting married will fulfill them and make them happy. And that’s very understandable because we were made to not be happy alone. We were made to find ourselves and our happiness in Another. But not just in any other. We were make to find ourselves in one special other, one certain someone. But no mere mortal can do this. We find life and hope and meaning only in the Savior Jesus Christ.
B. And God gave us marriage so we would be able to grasp our great need to be united with Christ in order to find true happiness.
C. Beloved friends, we don’t need a better spouse. We need to be more gripped by the gospel. We need to be more filled with the Spirit of Christ. We need to be more mindful of our heavenly spouse and our heavenly home.
D. Might I rephrase the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:31–33 Do not be anxious, saying, ‘How am I going to change my spouse?’ or ‘How am I ever going to find happiness in this marriage?’ or ‘How am I going to find a good spouse?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows everything you need. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.