Men With Guile

1:17b thinking to cause me distress in my imprisonment

While Paul was in prison, there were some who preached Christ out of spite, thinking that it would distress Paul. How did they expect to cause Paul distress by preaching Christ while Paul was imprisoned? Maybe they had pegged Paul as a selfish man who wanted all the converts for himself. Maybe they were preaching Christ but criticizing Paul to their converts. We don’t know for sure. And yet we learn something about human nature here. This phrase highlights the fact that there is murder in every human heart. Jesus made clear in Matt. 5:21ff. that anger, hatred and ridicule are manifestations of murder in the heart, much like lust is adultery of the heart. And which one of us is free from anger, hatred and ridicule?

We are usually very slow at recognizing this in ourselves. We hide from it by expressing our animosity toward others in such subtle ways that it doesn’t seem to us to be murderous. These people tried to attack Paul by preaching Christ. It is very common for people to do good things for the purpose of trying to hurt another person. But no matter how good the thing is, if in our hearts we are wishing the other person somehow damaged, we have murder in our hearts. Which one of us can say that he never wants to hurt another person? We may want to punish another person for something. It may be because he has done something evil toward us, or it may be (our hearts are evil and murderous enough even for this) that we want to hurt someone for being good, because their goodness forces us to play second fiddle or takes away our glory or makes us look bad in comparison. (This may be why Paul was hated by these folks, and this is why there is no man who will not be hated by someone - even by brothers and sisters in Christ.) And no matter how politely it is manifested, no matter how good it looks on the outside, nevertheless it is hate in Christian garb, murder disguised as righteousness.

The fact is that every one of us has murder in his heart. And until we face up to that, we’re not going to be able to deal with it properly. There’s a way to deal with sin: that’s what Christianity is all about. But we can never deal with it until we face it. And facing sin is painful, painful on our pride. But facing sin is the first step of repentance, and repentance is the means by which we escape from sin.

O Lord, there is murder in my heart! How often I am bitter in my heart toward another person. My highest aspirations are polluted with a desire to receive honor from men. And it is not below me to be jealous of a man who receives more honor than I do (even if he deserves more honor than I do). I hate my sin, O Lord. I hate the murderous hatred inside me. Purify my heart. Make me a man who rejoices in goodness, who rejoices with those who rejoice, instead of being jealous. Help me to know only love in my heart. Thank You that Christ has washed away my sin. Thank You that He was punished for my hatred. All my hope is in Him. Help me, Lord, by the mighty power of Your Spirit, to go and sin no more.