Paul and Pain

I. Introduction
 A. The church is suffering from many maladies today. But a big one is the way Christians in the church treat one another when they disagree or when trust breaks down.
  1. 2Corinthians is a treasure chest of help for Christians in these situations.
  2. This will probably be the only time in your life when you’ll be taken through 2Cor. verse by verse.
  3. Is this too meaty? Is it too long? There are helps available for you. Each week the sermon is put on our website in both written form and in audio form. You can listen to it again. You can read it and study it. There are commentaries online which could help you.
 B. Paul had come to Corinth in his 2nd missionary journey, and preached the gospel there for a year and a half. A number of folks accepted Christ & a church was planted. Paul had planned to visit them on his 3rd missionary journey after spending time in Ephesus, but he made an emergency visit when he received news that bad things were happening in the Corinthian church. That visit had not gone at all well, & Paul ended up leaving abruptly & then cancelling his scheduled visit with them. Instead he wrote them what has come to be called his severe letter. Then he sent Titus to find out how the letter was received. Having received a generally encouraging report from Titus, he penned 2Cor.
 C. 2Corinthians 2:3–4 And I wrote as I did, so that when I came I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice, for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all. 4 For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.
 D. Three things we can learn from 2Corinthians 2:3–4
II. Part of love is expressing confidence in others.
 A. 2:3 “And I wrote as I did, so that when I came I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice, for I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all.”
 B. And so here the apostle Paul continues to explain why he chose to write the Corinthian believers instead of visiting them as he had previously planned.
 C. He wrote them a severe letter instead of paying them a severe visit, a visit which he feared would grieve them even more and damage his relationship with them.
 D. And then he says that if he had visited them and caused them grief, they would be unable to bring him the joy he usually derives from them. All this is repetitive from v.1-2.
 E. But one new element has been added: Paul here tells them he was confident they would respond appropriately to his letter, bringing him joy again (which is exactly what happened - see 7:6-7).
 F. This is truly remarkable! Paul believes in those who have not been faithful to him. He keeps thinking the best of them, even though they had thought the worst of him!
 G. This is another precious jewel, another glimpse of the Christ-like love Paul had and we need.
 H. In effect, Paul is saying, "I just knew you would come through and make me joyful again by responding well to my admonitions."
 I. What Paul is expressing here is more than just niceness. One duty of Christian love is to think the best of others, and that means thinking they are going to succeed.
 J. Having confidence in people is a part of loving them. Repeat.
  1. I don’t mean that we should always have full confidence in everyone.
  2. I do mean that love maintains trust for a longer time than the flesh does.
  3. Love believes all things. (1Cor.13:7)
 K. Paul uses expressions of confidence regularly (e.g. 2Thes.3:4; Phm.21; 2Cor.9:1-4; Gal.5:10)
  1. It wasn’t just that the people Paul worked with were very promising people. It wasn’t that Paul was just an unusually trusting, optimistic person. Paul expressed confidence in others out of love, and rejoiced to do so: "I rejoice that in everything I have confidence in you." (2Cor.7:16)
  2. Is this naivete? Is this seeing through rose-colored glasses? No, it is Biblical love. It is based not on the promise of men, but on the faithfulness of God, who finishes what He starts: "I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil.1:6)
 L. When two people have a conflict and lose their trust in each other, usually it’s a sinful failure of love which has led to a failure of trust.
 M. Expressing confidence in others can be redemptive. It can motivate and inspire people to live up to our confidence. When we expect people to fail, they often live up to our expectations. Expressing confidence in folks can help them along and encourage them, reminding them that God is at work in them, that they can do all things through His power.
 N. His letter was mostly successful — not completely but mostly.  
  1. Let me ask you a question. If someone disrespected you, if someone falsely accused you, and then you confronted them about it, and their response was not completely humble or repentant, would you rejoice in their partial repentance? Would you say, “I knew you would respond well! I knew you would make me happy by your response!”?
  2. We fail to believe in people
III. Sometimes love compels a person to rebuke.
 A. 2:4 “For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.”
 B. Though it brought him much pain, Paul did not refrain from lovingly confronting the Corinthians.
  1. Repeat
 C. What’s the easy thing to do?
  1. gloss it over, cover it up, pretend it doesn’t exist
  2. write people off, walk away from the relationship
 D. But we see here how Paul refused to do any of these things and instead pursued the relationship, tenaciously laboring to restore his bond with them and facing the problems directly. He brought a very needed rebuke in love, even though he agonized to do it.
 E. This failure to love enough to confront is a big problem today in the body of Christ.
  1. Sometimes love requires caring/careful use of correction. This is what God’s word says – over and over again (e.g. Prov. 6:23; 13:24; 19:18; 20:30; 23:13–14; 29:15, 17, 19).
 F. And yet, grief needs to be a part of our rebuking.
  1. Those who ENJOY rebuking or want to get their pound of flesh are not speaking for Christ.
  2. Even if they’re speaking the truth, they’re not speaking the truth in love (Eph.4:15).
 G. Rebuking, if it’s done in love, hurts the rebuker because he knows he’s causing the rebukee pain, and he weeps with those who weep, even though he deems it to be necessary & redemptive.
 H. It’s easier to harden our hearts toward the ones who need to be corrected. That way it spares us the pain. But the pain of feeling the other person’s pain is as necessary as the pain of the rebuke itself.
 I. You know, people always say they like the things Jesus said.
  1. But the message of Jesus was not all happy and affirming.
  2. He often rebuked – in love. Not just the Pharisees, but His disciples too. The ones He most loved.
   a. Matthew 8:26 “Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?”
   b. Matt.16:8ff.“How is it that you do not understand?”
   c. Mark 8:17b-18, 21“Do you have a hardened heart? Having eyes, do you not see? And having ears, do you not hear?”
   d. Luke 24:25 “O foolish men and slow of heart to believe in all the prophets have spoken!”
   e. John 14:9 “Have I been so long with you, and yet you have not come to know Me?”
   f. Matthew 16:23 He said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me.”
 J. What happened to Jesus meek and mild? Was Jesus actually mean? Not at all. But Jesus was willing to rebuke when love demanded it. We don’t know exactly what Paul was rebuking the Corinthians for in his severe letter. But we know that it was out of his abundant love for them.
IV. Loving people often leads to tears.
 A. 2:4  For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.
 B. Paul describes here how he intensely agonized over “the severe letter” he wrote to them. It caused him “much affliction and anguish of heart and many tears.”
 C. If it was causing him so much pain to work with the Corinthians, why didn’t he just walk away from them and tend to more fruitful fields?
 D. That’s our knee-jerk reaction, isn’t it? When people cause us pain, our instinct is to pull back.
 E. But Jesus doesn’t pull back. And if under the sway of Jesus, we won’t either.
 F. The reason Paul was in such anguish is that he really cared about the Corinthian believers.
  1. Later, in 2Cor.6:9, we gain insight into his tears: "O Corinthians, our heart is opened wide."
 G. Tears were regular features of Paul’s ministry (Rom.9:1-3; Phil.3:18; Acts 20:18-19, 31, 36-37).
 H. The church is a place of laughter, a place of joy, a place of comfort.
 I. But the church is also a place of tears. Sometimes people cause grief to one another. People grieve church leaders. And church leaders grieve people. And church leaders grieve each other.
  1. If you’re in a church long enough, you will probably get hurt. And the more responsibility and leadership you take on, the more likely it is that you will get hurt.
  2. Does that mean the church is a place to avoid? Not at all. Do you avoid loving people because it hurts when they die or move away? Do you avoid getting close to people because they may hurt your feelings? That’s no way to live. We’re commanded to love; we’re never commanded to not get hurt. Jesus is the supreme demonstration of loving even though it means getting hurt.
  3. Often, it’s messy trying to restore broken relationships. Often there is a lot of pain involved, even if it is successful. And even more if it’s not.
  4. Paul did not withdraw his love for the Corinthians, nor his hope in their restoration, in spite of being rebuffed by his spiritual children when he visited them.
 J. Paul here is willing to shed tears on their behalf, but he expresses great hesitation about potentially causing them unnecessary tears. That’s the way we should all be.
  1. The problem is that much of the time we are more concerned about the tears we shed than the tears we cause. Repeat.
 K. Jesus was crushed under the weight of His agony. He said, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death.” (Matt.26:38) He shed drops of blood. He was whipped, falsely accused and convicted. He was nailed to a cross, a punishment designed to torture and humiliate, and He was left to suffocate.
  1. All that to love us. All that to win us.
 L. And then He says to us, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another as I have loved you.” – John 13:34
  1. People think the Bible’s command to love is wonderful, but they object to many other commands which they think are impossible to keep. But if we really understood Jesus’ command to love, we’d realize that IT is more difficult than the ones which seem impossible: to love people the way Jesus did, to be willing to bear their burdens, to be willing to weep and agonize and be mistreated and yet not give up on them or pull back from them.
  2. So many today are all concerned about finding a safe place for themselves, protecting themselves from pain. That’s not what Jesus did, is it? And it’s not what He calls us to do either.
  3. If we don’t realize the agony we caused Jesus, and yet how the love of Jesus for us was greater than the pain our sin caused Him, we’ll never be able to love others when it causes us pain.
  4. But when we realize that our safe place is in Jesus, then we can go anywhere He sends us and do anything He tells us to do, and love anyone He calls us to love. Because we live in His love. And perfect love casts out fear (1John 4:18).